The next person I’m punching

Seriously, this can’t be happening to me. I’ve regressed. I mean I might as well give back my college degree because everyone treats me like an a frigin five year old. Okay yes that is an exaggeration, but this whole age thing has gotten out of control. Let me set up a little picture for you.

A nice business woman who has some free time in her schedule and wants to make a little difference in the community decides to volunteer at the hospital (that would be me, the nice WOMAN). So she goes to the orientation meeting. She is so excited! She has been waiting weeks to go and can’t wait to learn about the volunteer opportunities. She sits down with the rest of a big group and listens to the spiel. Then the coordinator lady breaks everyone into two groups, "Students come to the front and adult volunteers back here please." So the 25 year old business woman (who took the time to not only put on make up -including mascara, but also nice clothes and earrings) heads to the back. Where the bitchy lady informs her, "Excuse me but you need to go up to the front." "Why?" Says the business woman. "Because we want all teenagers up front." "I am twenty five." says the business woman. "Oh. Well are you a student?" "No," Says the business woman, "I graduated years ago and now own my own company." "Oh," Says the snotty lady, "Fine you can come back here."

Dude was I pissed off, like so pissed off. Then it just got worse. All of the adults were supposed to say why they were there and how they would like to help. I was in the middle of saying that I own the Ribbon Jar, and work and home and wanted to be out in the community more when the coordinator interrupted me in front of everyone and said, "Am I the only one who thought she was 17?" followed by disgusting laughter.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I am telling you here and now. The next person who does this to me is getting a fist in the face. Now, granted I do not, and have never had great upper body strength, but I’m willing to give it my all.

And since we are on the subject of dillholes treating me like a moron (seriously people speak slowly to me, why do they do that?) I’d like to bring up something else that happened this weekend. I didn’t think it had anything to do with the guy thinking I was young, but now I kinda do.

We were at Lumpy’s, a golf discount store. I was there with Bj, Brent, and my Dad. I was watching Dad try out some clubs in the back and Bj brings me these kick ass golf shoes to look at (I don’t have any). I say, "Oh those look nice, I’ll go check them out." So I head over to the shoe department wearing greenish khaki shorts, a tank top and flip flops and holding the sample shoe. I walk over to the Echo area and start to check them out. A salesman intercepts me.

"Hi, I’m looking for this shoe."

"We don’t have your size."

I stand there like, what? I didn’t even tell you what size I am! "I wear a seven and a half or eight."

Salesman: "Sorry we don’t have any."

Me: "I don’t carry about color or even style really."

Salesman, "Here’s a 36," He says chucking a box at me, "but it probably won’t fit." Then he takes the sample shoe out of my hands and walks away.

People a 36 is like, I don’t know, a size 6US, not even close to my size. After he clears out of the shoe area I see the following sizes stacked up: 36, 37, 38, 39. WHAT THE HELL PEOPLE!!! Someone would tell me if I looked like an alien or smelled wouldn’t they? I do not know what is going on in the world. I am a nice friendly customer!

Help. I’m fielding suggestions, I want to look older but it can not involve surgery or high heals. Oh and also I have very little funds to work with.

Thanks.

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15 Comments

  1. Maybe you could wear a “business power suit” on a daily basis, or a name tag that says “Hi, I’m 25!” Sorry, I can’t give you any real advice on looking older but I just wanted to say I’m sorry and I think it sucks. If it’s any consolation (or at least something to laugh at…) people think my sister is my child. I would have just turned 12 when she was born. I was not a promiscuous 11 year old.

  2. I feel you, Amber. People are always telling me two things:
    1. That I look younger than I am.
    2. That someday I will appreciate looking so young.
    So far, looking young has not worked in my favor.

  3. So Sorry Babe!
    I think that people find you to be so cute and sweet and just assume you are young.

  4. that is awfu, Amber. Really it is….I went through the same thing now, as I am almost 40 now, I am glad that I still look young-ish. It pisses ya off now but you’ll like it later when everyone else looks like a hag and you’re still cute and perky.
    also, I am mailing out your East Coast jars TODAY!! They are in my Volvo front seat. So be on the lookout for two boxes coming your way….
    and big congrats on that smacking that lady at the hospital.
    🙂
    Suzanne

  5. Aaaaah what? I quite LIKE IT! For the following reasons:
    1. My clearly obvious youthful freshness and flowing vitality.
    2. People set themselves right up for you to knock down and you can really get a good kick out of telling them what you think of their opinions. Don’t grin and bear it – tell them you think they’re rude and arrogant.
    3.If I ever became a spy or something similar it might help my disguise.
    4. It is so much better than looking older than you are – would you want to be one of those 25 year olds with a 35 year old face? Nope!
    Rule: Don’t take bad service from shop assistants. It is always worth complaining about it to their supervisor, in writing. I don’t do a half-assed job at work every day and I didn’t when I worked in a shop either.
    Maybe wear an ‘I’m 25 today’ birthday badge. Then people might give you gifts too. Or they might think you were wearing your big sister’s badge ha ha ha.

  6. Sorry Amber. I have no advice either . . . just that I know exactly how you feel. I get the “I look younger than I am” and the “someday I will appreciate looking so young” thing like brianna does. It sucks…

  7. Amber you and I both know that it sucks to look young, I mean no one takes me seriously, I still get carded at an “R” rated movie. And the next person that tells me; “you will appreciate it when you older” will get a serious talking to. We need to come up with a catchy come back.
    BP

  8. It would be super frustrating for people to not take you seriously whatever your age – maybe a punch in the face will do them good! At least when you are old other people your age will look all wrinkly with age spots and sagging while you will most likely still look fabulous!

  9. Some people think my brother 22 and sister 16 are both older than me (I am 24). I think my sister’s trick is wear more makeup than me, not saying makeup is the answer necessarily cause then if you go too far you teeter totter on looking all together plastic. Maybe we should go to a make-up consultation at Nordstrom’s and/or a boxing lesson.
    Sincerely, your partner in age discrimination

  10. I’m sorry Amber! I have patient’s who ask how old I am cause they tell me I look to young to be out of school-Thanks!

  11. That sucks… I hate people who treat young adults badly.
    I am fairly certain said hospital is one of my clients… one quick phone call to someone I know there and I could get that problem nipped in the bud for the future (if you are looking for some resolution). Of course, it doesn’t make better what happened to you – but seriously, hospitals need volunteers so badly that I would think the administrators would want to know not to run any folks off from there in the future due to that kind of behavior.

  12. I agree…I think you should complain (nicely) about her. That is ridiculous to belittle you in front of the group. People like that need to be called out. In the long run it might even help them on their path to be nicer.

  13. I can totally relate. I’m not looking as young as I used to…but I’ve had some incredibly rude and just downright mean comments about my age.

  14. Amber, you and I both know I’ve been through that before, and still do to this day…I got carded at a rated R movie when I was in my 5th year at college! The makeup looks good and that lady at the hospital is a B*#@h for the comments she made. She is supposed to be a professional and she made herself look like an ignorant fool. Like everyone says, which is true, you’ll hate it now, but when we are 60 and look like we’re just in our 30s, everyone else will be jealous and we’ll be loving it! Stay up!

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