sad to happy

            Well yesterday was a pretty rough day for me. My great grandmother died on New Year’s day and yesterday was the funeral and wake. When I was born I had seven great grandparents, and she was the last surviving one. Marie was 93 years old when she went up to heaven. I was so lucky that I got to see her on Christmas Eve. She had just gotten sick that day really, a gall bladder thing. I was sad when I went to see her because she really wasn’t feeling well and she was moaning and in a lot of pain. But you know the amazing thing? Her mind was all there, and I am just so thankful that we could have one last conversation. I showed her my knitting because she was one crafty lady and I knew she would appreciate it, and she did. I asked her if she wanted a new Kleenex because she was wiping her mouth, and she was like, "oh no, those don’t hold up nearly as well as my handkerchiefs." I don’t know why but I love that. My mom and I always have handkerchiefs with us too and I had one at the funeral, holding it I was thinking of her.
        Before my great grandpa died and she still lived on their farm she would cook us these huge dinners (which of course was lunch, because supper was a smaller meal in the evening). There would always be a pie or desert and some salads, and meat. I remember when I was younger eating this meat and thinking, "what is this" then my grandma said, "do you like the tongue"? Ahhhhhh!!!!! My great grandparents were "rock hounds" before it was illegal to just take any rock or fossil you wanted. They travel all over with rock clubs (hehehe) digging them up, and then polishing them. This was so cool to my younger self. My great grandma kept crafting up until the end. I hope I can be like that. She made a ball out of granny squares for her great-great-grandson (my cousin’s boy Matthew who is five). And Krissy said he wanted to bring all the things she made him to the funeral. She made him leave it then all in the car where the ball was buckled in with a seat belt. He was playing with the ball at the wake, and it just reinforced how much things made with love really mean. I’m sure he’ll have that ball forever. I still have the mini crochet Barbie outfits, and stuffed turtles, baby blankets, and homemade slippers. My mom and I think we got all our crafty skills from grandma and I’m sure we did. She painted, sewed, knitted, crocheted, cooked, never forgot a birthday, loved everyone, and everyone loved her.
      So the funeral. It was in this super old cemetery. I mean they must have gotten their plots many years ago, because I said to my cousin, "doesn’t it look like grandma got the last empty spot?" And it was so strange because when they picked out this final resting place I’m sure it was in the country, but now it is smack in the middle of a development. Like, houses surrounding the whole thing, very interesting. Then we went to the wake. My cousin Jenny is pregnant, I asked her how she was doing and she said, "barf-a-rama man, it’s nasty" poor Jenny. I said maybe when she has her second baby we’ll be pregnant together, and she was like, "after this man, I don’t know." After that we drove by my great grandparent’s old farm (I didn’t take pictures, oops). The new owners took down the swing set that we all played on since we were little, even my mom and her brothers and sisters. They also cut down some big old trees, we thought it looked pretty bare. When we got home I was having a ton of trouble with the Ribbon Jar and I just got so overwhelmed. I started to cry and I told my mom, it’s just so hard, because if I had a "normal" job, I could just take the whole day off, but I can’t because no one can do all the stuff but me. Bj’s been in Minnesota and I just need him. Being the sweetheart that he is he drove down to Salem after he landed at PDX, even though his plan was late and he didn’t get here until two. He had to leave early this morning but those few hours of sleep with him just brought me peace.

         Today was much better, calmer, and I got a lot done. Check out the new products section. Plus I’ll update later tonight with pictures, but this post has been long enough as it is.

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