Today was all about Jesus. Oh, and Chuck Norris. After our breakfast pie (yum, thanks mom, you are an amazing cook – even with no kitchen!) we went to a family storage unit so I could get some of my things and move them to my own storage unit. It was Brent, Taylor, Bj and I. On the drive Brent was telling us that Chuck Norris was suing NBC over the name Law and Order. And I was like, "what?" he said that was the trademark of Chuck Norris’ right and left legs. The boys started laughing, but I was slow to catch on. So on our stop at Brent’s house they had to look up a ton more of course. Then we all started rolling around like crazy laughing fools. I was laughing so hard I couldn’t get a good picture of Bj laughing because I was shaking the camera. So while I wait for some Modge Podge to dry in the other room, for your pleasure:

-Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

-Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

-Chuck Norris puts the "laughter" in "manslaughter".

-Chuck Norris has only one hand: the upper hand.

-Water boils faster when Chuck Norris watches it.

-Whenever someone is constipated, doctors send them to Chuck Norris so he can scare the shit out of them.

-Chuck Norris can count to infinity – twice.

-Geico saved 15% by switching to Chuck Norris.

-Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.

-The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

-Chuck Norris’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris.

-Chuck Norris once shot an enemy plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!"

-Chuck Norris’ dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.

These are so not mine. Just google chuck norris jokes. Hope you had a good laugh.

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  1. LOL!
    This has to be some of the funniest stuff I have ever seen on the internet. They have these plastered all of the wall at the offices where I work!

  2. Seriously, best jokes ever, Chuck Noris is so tough when he writes a blog he doesnt bother to read it, he justs posts.

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