I am not lying when I say that I have not done ANY physical activity in weeks, lo – not since sailing. And dammit my butt is sore from walking around the stupid neighborhood with my mom this morning. That’s right. I am sore from walking. I feel like I ran a friggin marathon. That’s it. I’m plugging in the PlayStation and letting Maya give it to me. I need a kick in the ass. No lying here. I weigh almost 124.6 (completely naked of course after just going to the bathroom, the only correct way to weigh yourself). That is dangerously close to 125, a number I have NEVER gone over. That is the weight of a coxswain for a boy boat. AHHHH. And look, look what happens with very light clothing and a camera. I have flubbably bits everywhere, new ones pop up every day. Have you heard of back fat. It’s not fake, it happens to good people like me. I’ve grown "fat boobs" and they’re annoying. They jiggle and shit and it sucks. Please DO NOT say, "oh, but you’re so tiny. blah, blah, blah." Everyone is different. I come from a seriously tiny family. I am 5"3" and petite. For me to be this heavy (and most importantly) out of shape is horrible. I have good genes and am letting them go to waste! So something must be done:
-weigh 111 pounds (totally doable, usual weight for my non wobbly self)
-get my "ballet body" back: tight tummy, little boobies, strong legs
-no back pain. I thought this was an old person exaggeration. But it sucks, and I know it’s because of this damn back fat I’m carrying around.
-be flexible again, and I don’t mean like the scheduling type.
-no more headaches. I’m pretty sure from watching the Biggest Looser that loosing lots of weight cures all problems, so let’s hope for this too.
-fit into my clothes. extremely important for budget reason as well as personal pride.
-it would be nice to flex and see a little muscles in my arms, but I’ve never had that, so let’s not get too crazy here (besides lifting things sucks, no?)
How is this going to happen:
-DRINK WATER IDIOT it’s free, tasteless, and that gross throat sticking together sensation will go away.
–dance dance, YF, whatever, get moving lazy.
-limit candy (very risky as large part of my personality IS sugar based)
-count calories. It’s not hard. It works, it’s free, and I already have that handy book.
Why the heck am I putting this on my blog? Because I am owning up. Because I am really good at wearing slimming outfits and tucking bits behind loose clothing, and some strategically tight stuff. Besides I don’t have a huge readership and I’m sure you’re all relatively nice people. So I’m doing it. And I’m going to fit into that awesome snoball dress (well skirt and top, let’s not get picky) and make Bj take me somewhere fancy in it. You will, won’t you babe? I’ll look hot, super swear. Damn those mini Butterfingers in the freezer.