I said YES… eventually.


We got home from Hawaii and everyone wanted to come over right away. I saw them dart their eyes down to my left and hand and then slowly away. No I wasn’t engaged, as everyone had expected. But that’s not because Bj didn’t ask me. And now that I’ve got a hold of most of my family and friends personally I thought I would blog about it. But first, I need to do a little back story.

Bj and I have been dating for over 5 years, in fact we’ve been dating for 61 months, and that’s a hell of a long time for a girl to wait for a proposal. I don’t talk much about this on the blog, because, like Kay said, it’s almost like talking about Bj right in front of him. I had told Bj at the beginning of the year that I just couldn’t wait any longer for my life to start. The direct result of that was buying my own house and not moving up to Portland. But of course I couldn’t break up with Bj, I love him way too much and I knew we were meant to be together for ever. I considered proposing to him, but I hated the idea that he might be just around the corner with a proposal and I would ruin well laid plans. Also I did express a deep desire for a specific ring and I thought that the long wait was possibly due to him saving up for it. After all he had told me years ago that all he wanted was to have a job first, and he has been working at a great job for a year and half.

So Hawaii, I knew it was coming. I had hopes, but I have lost count of the times I really thought, like totally that it was going to happen and then nothing. We got to the end of trip and nothing had happened, I just figured it wasn’t going to. We’d already walked sunny sandy beaches, gone to romantic dinners, and participated in a wonderful wedding. I was sure if that didn’t bring it out of him nothing would. So…

It’s Monday night and we spent the day para-sailing, and then driving about an hour to get to this awesome fabric store so I could stock up on Hawaiian print fabric. We ended the day at a cool dinner spot on the roof a building right off the beach. I had this crazy homemade smores thing for dessert. Now those of you who have not met me personally this next part will be hard to understand. I don’t drink; okay, but when I have a boat load of sugar and am feeling very happy I get to this sort of crazy place. Everything is funny, I can’t keep a straight face, and stumble around like a crazy. So that’s what happened. I was laughing my butt off walking back to our car, and many of the gifts we got are a result and me going nuts in the Stupid Factory, laughing at everything. So we go back to the hotel and decide to watch Ghostbusters. I love Ghostbusters, and we bought it when we were in Kmart earlier picking up some cheap-o luggage for my fabric haul. I’m being all goofy and Bj loads up Ghostbusters while I change and then we go to watch it. He’s telling me he loves me and everything, but I’m not really paying attention, I’m all, "hey that’s great man, can we start this movie?" So he fumbles with something and drops the ring and then is like, "I want to spend the rest of my life with you." Or something, I wasn’t really paying attention remember. I was shocked and the Ghostbusters theme just kept playing over the DVD menu. It wasn’t the ring, and it definitely was the proposal I had expected. I was all, "what, WHAT? no, what? What are you doing?" "Asking you to marry me." "Here, like this? In our hotel room, in front of a movie?" I was extremely upset. I mean I have like five hundred good ideas for how a proposal should go, and this didn’t even get close to ranking on the list. Eventually I said I would think about it. I thought it was a bad omen to start with a horrible proposal that I hadn’t even been listening too, I mean I wasn’t even looking at him when he did it.

We actually had a great last couple of days, but I still wouldn’t put the ring on. I didn’t know what I wanted. I thought maybe I wanted him to try again, and he did whip the ring out four more times, after we got home he even snook out to get flowers. But it just got funnier instead of more romantic. We talked about it, and talked about it. The other ring was out of his budget, and now that I’m wearing this one, I don’t know why I didn’t want it at first. I guess I like to consider myself extremely unique and I thought it was just a little too "normal" for me. Bj’s response was that he was an idiot for not coming up with something better. So after much discussion I said yes Friday morning at like 1am. Then I went into super excited hyper mode. I’m so lucky to have Bj in my life, he’s super awesome and though I’ve never dated anyone else, I can’t imagine it any other way. In my opinion no one is as perfect for me as he is. So yeah! Let the planning begin. Because if you think I’m waiting a whole year to get married…


And before you ask, because I’ve already been asked, no I’m not moving! Are you freaking insane? I love this house almost as much as I love Bj!

I really wanted to tell the story how it happened, because, though I haven’t heard another story like it, I’m sure it happens. I’d love to hear your proposal story, if you have one!

Join the Conversation


  1. John proposed in a way that was somewhat matter of fact and defintely unromantic. I was dissapointed, but we had though a fun engagement party for friends and 6 months later (April of ’95) we had a lovely wedding. He gave me a wonderful tangerine colored freshwater pearl necklace for the wedding. I thought that was my gift and it was sweet. However, a couple of days after we got back from our honeymoon he had us meet with a lawyer. An adoption lawyer. (I’d resigned myself to infertility as a result of a previous illness). I have to say that made up for all the unromantic scientist stuff! We adopted Em in China late that summer and Noah a few years after that in Cambodia and John is still not very romantic, but he knows what really matters.

  2. My husband asked me on Christmas Eve, at 2 in the morning, if I wanted to “get hitched.” He is a little embarrassed by it now, but I was 19 and he was 20. We dated for two years already and he was my first, well only, real boyfriend. He was nervous and too excited to wait until a decent hour that Christmas morning. I accepted, of course, I couldn’t help complaining about his choice of words and timing. I’m now 33 and have been married for over 11 years. I’m convinced that the way he asks and the ring aren’t as important as the guy and the sentiment. Congratulations on your engagement. Best wishes for your future.

    over 30 years ago – Brian proposed to me while watching TV……”How about getting married tomorrow?” – this was a Thursday nite. He said “you can take tomorrow afternoon off work and I’ll get everything organized in the morning!”.
    So, 1 pm he picked me up from work and we had blood tests to get (in Alberta 30 years ago, you needed blood tests!) and then went for the license….7 pm we were at the Justice of the Peace and 10 pm we were out (2.5 hours away) at my parents’ farm telling them that we were married….Mom didn’t believe us and demanded to see the license!!!

  4. Yeah – mine’s worse.
    So you know that I gave Josh 5 years to ask me. 5 years is a long time. He knew, its wasn’t a threat, or a secret. After 4 years 363 days he says, “So, you want to get married?” No, Hawaii, no sunset, in our living room in Albany.
    Real romantic huh? But it was worth it… lol.

  5. Congrats!! I can so relate to your post—although I’m still waiting for the proposal and ring. We’ve been dating 3 1/2 years (40 months & counting) and I’m not sure if it’ll ever happen. I want to buy a house, but I don’t have your guts to just do it…hmmm, maybe I’ll wait until the five year mark. 🙂 I think the ring is gorgeous (ok, I want to know what you had picked out…). I loved watching the remodel process with the house, now I can look forward to hearing about the wedding details.

  6. Ah Amber Lee… What a cute engagement story, even if it wasn’t exactly ‘story-book’. My husband actually went down on one knee, but he hadn’t bought a ring or anything. We went ring shopping the next day. It wasn’t an amazing engagement story, but I still smile every time I think about that night, April 5, 1985 (you were probably still in diapers at the time)! Rings are wonderful, weddings are amazing, but as the years slip by it’s the man that you know Bj to be that is going to be the most important factor. I can tell that he’s one of the nicest guys ever, and I wish you and Bj every happiness in your future together.

  7. Very cool. Congrats. Funny engagement stories are WAY better than the romantic get down on one knee variety…..My husband asked me in a hotel room after dinner. Well, technically he did not ask. He said, “I want you to be my wife” I was so tickled. He likes to tease me and say he never really asked…..
    That’s some fine print for you, huh…?
    So happy for you.

  8. CONGRATS! It is going to be fun watching you create all kinds of cool stuff for your wedding. And the ring is VERY nice.
    My story, we were on the beach in Florida, and I didn’t know it was coming – but when he asked I said yes, and of course immediately told him he needed to be on his knee to ask me.

  9. Ah, I’m so happy for you and Smeeg! Totally knew it from the moment I saw you two together! Can’t wait to read all the wedding details! Congrats!

  10. huge congrats.
    bri proposed to me in bed.
    so yeah, that story doesn’t usually go over well. 🙂
    can’t wait for all the wedding plans to start!

  11. Congratulations! My story isn’t that exciting—we just knew we wanted to get married, so we did! No real ring, but 14 years later all is just as giddy as it was when we were newlyweds (some days anyway….).
    Again, Congrats to you!

  12. BIG HUGE CONGRATS to you and bj!!
    how friggin’ exciting.
    i’ve been married for seven years and i’m still waiting to be proposed to. kinda a long story.
    cannot wait to see all the wonderful things you do for the wedding. is there a date set yet?

  13. My husband tried to be romantic, but he’s not so good at keeping secrets and I tend to guess every present… so when I started opening a big giant box on Christmas eve, I pretty much knew there was a teeny tiny box in the bottom.
    We were young. We were poor. I didn’t have a very fancy ring and every year we plan to get me a nice set…. but….
    We have been married for 18 wonderful years. He still tries to be romantic. He just doesn’t pull it off well and that makes me love him even more. In the end it doesn’t really matter how he proposed or what kind of ring I have, it’s how much we love each other every day…and that’s where I hit the jackpot.
    Best Wishes on your new life together!!!

  14. Congrats!!! I think the ring is beautiful! My husband proposed on the shores of lake michigan. It would have been really romantic, except I was tired and crabby and just wanted to go home!!! It went away after he proposed, though!

  15. First off, CONGRATULATIONS!
    The ring is gorgeous!
    I married my husband for the second time about four years ago. The first proposal he put the ring in a cashew can (Oh how I love cashews). The second proposal I totally wasn’t expecting, over dinner with my family. Nothing too out there but special for me! 🙂

  16. Amber, I am so happy for you and BJ! You two will have a great life together, I know it. I miss seeing both of you at IRW, but know you are where you need to be. Give the lug a great big hug from the IRW ladies, and…wow…what a ring! It is beautiful. Congratulations!

  17. Congratulations! I’m so excited for you both… You are a perfect match!
    While your story is very entertaining… “It’s not the proposal, the ring, or the wedding” It’s your life you will build together! Wishing you all the best!

  18. I am sooooo happy for you and BJ!! I can’t think of a nicer couple. Congratulations!!!

  19. Congratulations!!! Now we get to hear all about the wedding plans! That will be FUN! Your ring is very pretty, shiny and sparkly is always good! My story’s not exciting. I lived with my husband 9 years before we got married. We decided to get married over dinner one night at the Widmer Pub. No proposal was made. We were just talking and decided to do it! Now we’ve been married for 7 years. It was worth the wait even though it didnt seem like we were waiting at the time. Just living life together. I really believe that life is all about timing and that everything happens for a reason! Enjoy your engagement and making your wedding plans!

  20. So excited for you! You’re going to have the best time planning your wedding. I can’t wait to come here and read about it. People will be trying to hire you out as a wedding planner I can just see it!
    The ring is beautiful just like you!
    Take care and again . . . CONGRATULATIONS!

  21. Congrats, Amber! I am so happy for you!!! And yes I can agree five years is a very long time for a girl to wait! Very cute story, can’t wait to see you, the ring and the plans! I know I can count on you to have an amazing, colourful, wonderfuly unique wedding!

  22. Amber, CONGRATS!!! It was sooooo good talking to you! I really miss you! I’m sad that I won’t be able to make it to your wedding, but we should meet up soon!! Love ya girl!

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