For Better…

Or worse.

Yesterday Bj and I got the biggest shock of our lives. His mom called me looking for him to tell him that his father passed away. He was only 55 years old. He lived in California and took care of Bj’s grandfather, who found him yesterday. We’re not sure exactly what happened, we just keep saying, "it’s so weird." And then we start crying again. And I’ve only seen Bj cry twice before so it’s just so sad. Yesterday I was in the middle of painting the stairwell and I was going to do this whole, "blah blah blah high places suck to paint, blah, blah, blah" post, and Bj was eating a BLT. Yesterday he kept saying, "I was just out to lunch, I just had a BLT, and now everything is different." We’re going to head down there right away, Bj’s mom and step dad will accompany us. Talk to his grandpa, and get him to move up here so we can take care of him. There is no one else, no brothers, no sisters, no anyone, it’s us. We have to grow up right now. We have to scatter the ashes, and sell the house, and all the stuff, and close accounts, and care for the grandpa. I’m in shock, I’m scared, and I kinda wish I wasn’t old enough to be the one in charge.

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19 Comments

  1. We love you both and are sorry you are having to deal with all these things when you should just be enjoying each other. Hugs, Mom & Bill

  2. I’m so sorry for your loss! And I know EXACTLY how you feel. We got this same news on January 29th with a knock at the door at midnight by police. It’s aweful, not fun at all and just so very sad. My condolences to both of you.

  3. Amber & BJ, I’m so very sorry for your loss. Hugs and prayers.
    It is always scary to face the unknown, but knowing the people you and BJ are, everything will be fine. Rely on each other for strength, cry with each other for release, and sigh with each other when you discover years from now that the very events that make you afraid today, are the very things that have drawn you closer together tomorrow.

  4. Amber and BJ–I am so sorry for your loss. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you. You both are in my prayers.

  5. I love you both! Don’t underestimate the power of your love for each other, it more than anything will carry you through the “grown-up” times. You both are in very good hands… each others.

  6. amber, i am *so* sorry for yours and bj’s loss. i know exactly what you are going through. my mother in law passed away on thanksgiving almost four years ago from a massive heart attack. i too thought that i was too young to deal with something like that.
    i do hope you two have a safe trip to where you’re going and again, i am soooo sorry to you both. big hugs!

  7. amber & bj, i’m so sorry for your loss. i can’t imagine what you must be going through- you’ll be in my prayers. give each other hugs, and know that you both are so strong, and even stronger together.

  8. Amber, I have so enjoyed reading your beautiful wedding details over the last few months and to have this happen is a life altering shock of cold water in your face. I am so sorry for BJ and you but I know that together you are stronger now and his grandpa couldn’t have a better couple to care for him.

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