This morning Bj and I drove to Salem for my grandmother’s funeral and wake (why is it called that?). I was totally fine until we got to the funeral home. It was a private funeral, just like 30 or so family (my grandfather’s had been this huge thing downtown), so that made it a little better. But it was open casket. I wasn’t going to look or anything, so I just kinda chilled in the waiting area, but then it was time to start and they still didn’t close it. She looked (I say this hesitantly) good, but off somehow. Like kind of plasticy. I don’t know, it was just weird to me, and I knew her soul wasn’t in there so it didn’t really mean that much to me. Except that I love that they put her favorite pink lipstick and nail polish on her. My cousin Laura said that they should have buried her with a bottle of it. My dad had called me this morning to ask if he could use my blog from the day I found out to read as part of the eulogy. I said sure, but that I definitely couldn’t read it (I’m a big time crier). Well my dad practiced reading it and couldn’t get very far. My little sister stepped up to the plate and read the whole thing. I am just so thankful for her, I don’t know how she did it. It was so cute too because she started off saying, "I normally don’t speak in public, but I’m making an exception." I didn’t know what people would think of it because I didn’t write it expecting the whole thing to get read out loud. My family was all very appreciative of it though. And one of my grandmother’s nurses (she always had a personal nurse with her the last few years) said that she was sure grandmother recognized me and that made me feel really good. Our family was so lucky to find such caring help for grandmother.

After the service we drove to the cemetery listening to a CD that my cousin Laura had made. It was so sweet, it had all of grandmother’s favorite songs on it, and I can just picture her listening to them. I’ll have to list the mix because if you like old crooners you would love this. Bj was one of the pallbearers which was so sweet of him. We just had a quick thing at the grave site, but it was nice. I really think that having a smaller funeral is nicer in a way because it’s just people who have a really close relationship with the person. I do think that big services are good so that everyone can pay respects though.

The wake was at my aunt and uncle’s place, which is just up the street from Nick and Lacey’s so I stopped to say hi. I was totally fine until I said the word’s "grandmother’s wake" then I started to cry again. I don’t know how Lacey felt about that, I’ve never cried in front of them before. The wake was nice because I got to talk to all my cousin’s, more distant relatives, and old family friends and people that worked with my grandparent’s (like my all time favorite secretary Marilyn who always bought Girl Scout Cookies from me when I was little). I really like my family members so anytime I get to see them I love it, even if it has to be under these circumstances. I had so many people comment to me on how much I look like my mother (which is like the best comment ever – despite what she says about the photo below). Some distant relatives hadn’t seen me in a while and they always act shocked when I tell them how old I am. 🙂

I took a nice drive the back way to Corvallis through the country. Lots of windy roads, and the smell of mint everywhere. I just let my thoughts wander since I was alone. Bj and Brent set off for so cal before I left. I got home and I was determined to get all the orders out (which I did, even the one that came in at 4:59, yeah me!). One of my customer’s also emailed me an awesome layout which I am going to use in the next newsletter (so sign up already!). And I got an email from Simple Scrapbooks saying that they are going to do a blurb on me for their next newsletter. I have to write a press release now, ahhh!

All in all I think grandmother was smiling down on the day. My cousin Dustin said that grandfather had probably remodeled heaven for her (they built nine houses together), so I hope they are enjoying themselves!

First thank you all so much for your emails and comments, it means so much!  I am doing pretty well with everything. We have all been telling stories about grandmother, and I really believe she is livin’ it up in the afterlife, but we’ll see how I do with the service and wake on Tuesday.

So Friday I went to my mom’s graduation. It wasn’t any piddly little graduation either, she received her bachelor of science in Interior Design (which is not decorating, so don’t even say that people). In case you couldn’t tell she was just a little bit excited. And we were too. My mom started working on her associates of art degree when I first went to college, just taking a few classes or whatever. Then two years ago she decided to get her bachelors. She wanted to go to OSU with all of us (My step dad, brother, boyfriend, and I all graduated last year, and my brother this year), but they did not have an accredited program. Since my mom isn’t in to doing anything half way she decided to go to the Art Institute of Portland (she lives in Salem, an hour away). So for two years she’s been driving up there like four days a week and working her butt off. It was weird at first because I didn’t get all my normal super cool care packages in the mail, but my mom sure understood what we were going through at school.  It was so funny to hear her call up and complain about a prof. I would say the last two weeks have been the real test though. I was pretty much avoiding spending too much time over there (at my mom’s). There were architectural plans, drawings, samples, and big boards all over the house. There always seemed to be a bit of a crisis (which was sometimes solved by buying more computer memory and every book on the subject under the sun). This was only because my mom had to show us all up by graduating with honors. Did I mention her yard still looks flawless and she had time to cook meals and have them ready to be re-heated in the freezer? The funniest thing though was that she made me drive to Salem to bring my cap and gown to her because she didn’t believe it was properly pressed and wanted to see it for her own eyes. Then when I got to Portland for the graduation Bill was caught in traffic with the outfit and my mom had to borrow a wrinkly one (this is really funny if you know my mom, since I’ve never seen her wear a wrinkly anything). She said, “I don’t even want to walk in this!” But Bill showed up right on time and the show went on. We all stood up and screamed when my mom’s name is called, because we’re cool like that. After we went to my grandma’s place (grandma=mom’s mom, grandmother=dad’s mom). She had been cooking all day, much to her twin Ileane’s dismay (“As soon as I go on a diet Arlene has to cook up a feast!”). It was really yummy and I got to see two of my cousin’s, my uncle’s, my grandpa and my great aunt Mary. I just eat up family time. It’s so funny to hear everyone talk, “no John said it was his back” “no I talked to John last and he said they didn’t find anything” “I just got off the phone with John and this is what he told me.” Heheheh. Plus it’s like this cool world where everyone is small and I feel like a normal sized human being (except for my freakishly tall – at least for our family – uncle Rob). Brent drove me home after and we stopped to pick up my little sister Emilie.

Emilie is the unfortunate victim of a dye job gone wrong. Her natural hair is so pretty. She is half black so her skin is like this perfect color and her hair is naturally very light brown with beautiful blond highlights, it’s also got wonderful curls and is so soft. So being a teenager, of course she hates it. She really has had some bad luck in the hair department though. My friend Julia was watching her last winter and Emilie was supposed to get her hair straightened. They got partway through and then realized her scalp was reacting badly to it and had to stop. So she had half chemically straightened hair. She was pretty upset so they came over here and we watched movies and ate ice cream. This time she was trying to bleach out a darker dye job from before, but the lady went a little (a lot) too far. I have to say though she is taking it very well. So I decided to take Emilie for the weekend so we could have some good sisterly bonding, and get her out of my dad’s house during funeral/moving yuckiness (my dad has another place in So. Cal. and they are U-Hauling a bunch of stuff down there this week). Emilie and I did our usual sister bonding, stayed up too late, slept in too late, ate lots of junk, and watched our favorite shows on DVD. We also got crafty and beaded. Emilie got some of my ribbon and had the idea to make her necklace. She took a charm from Claire’s and strung it on double faced satin. I figured out a cool way to fix the ends and it turned out pretty cool. She’s one crafty chica if I do say so myself.

Emilie started watching Smallville to take a break from working through My So-Called Life. Every time something happened I would hear her go, “Oh, SNAP.” I wish I could have recorded it so you could hear it, because writing it just doesn’t do it justice. After the fiftieth time I yelled down, “Emilie, snap has lost all meaning!!!!” Which slowed down the usage a bit. I have got to get this girl In Living Color so she can see what a real snap is “That gets two snaps up in a circle!”  She was mad because she said I’ve gotten her hooked on Smallville now, but I said we’re just even because she was the one who got me hooked on The O.C. 

     So today we had the windows open and we just hanging out, still in our pj’s at one. I started to smell gas, which is weird because we don’t have any natural gas appliances or anything. I just closed the windows and didn’t think much of it. So I took a shower and got all ready and was so hot that I had to open my window but it still totally smelled like gas. So I go to investigate and find my car leaking gas. Nasty! Scary! I call my dad, but he told me to open the cap and when I couldn’t told me to drive to a gas station, which I was too afraid to do (blowing up in your car is so not a cool way to go). So I called AAA and told the lady on the phone what was up. She was all, “We do not deal with gasoline, you need to call the fire department, RIGHT AWAY!” So I was like, “Ok.” I called the fire department and told them it wasn’t an emergency or anything but that I had leaking gas, and blah, blah, blah. So she said they were going to send someone over in a bit. Okay so I thought I’d get like a guy in one of their SUV’s or something. Instead I got three SUPER HOT FIREMEN!!!!  (love you BJ! :>) But seriously, let’s talk girls. These guys had abs so hard I could see their six packs through their perfectly faded blue t-shirts that said Corvallis Fire in red writing. They had on their yellow baggy pants with their suspenders down, and their big boots, and did I mention they were HOT (oh and really tan). So I was all, “um, my car’s leaking gas.” The one hot fireman opened up my gas cap (like it was nothing and I couldn’t open it for the life of me) and gas spilled out all over. He asked me if I just got it filled and where. Yesterday, at the cheapest place in town. In my defense I did ask them not to top it off (we do not have self-service gas in Oregon, thank God, otherwise I probably wold have blown up by now).  So then he said that I was parked on a slight incline (which I honestly never realized our carport was on), and that it was hot, and I had just gotten my tank filled. So all this means that the fumes build up and it leaks over. I felt a little stupid, but the super awesome firemen were all, “Oh, hey don’t worry, that’s what we’re here for.” “Ya, call us anytime about this stuff.” and “Happens all the time.” They had me turn the car around and said that the rest of the gas would just evaporate. The only regret I have is that my really annoying band playing neighbor’s weren’t home to scare the shit out of with the huge firetruck in front of their place.

After that excitement we drove to Salem and I got to give my mom her graduation present:

I am really loving these silk pieces and have been using them on everything. I also made a cool tag for my dad’s father’s day gift but forgot to take a picture, darn!

It’s the ultimate relaxation kit, now that she has a break: bright towel, water balloons, Pez, plastic glasses and straws with built in umbrellas to sit by the pool, nail polish, and an iTunes gift card so she can make her own mix. I sewed some trim onto a cheapo bag and I love how it looks. I also love how the tag turned out.

We went out to dinner with dad, Kim, Emilie, Brent, Kim’s dad, step mom, and niece. It was a pretty good time, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, my family tells some pretty good stories. I think I might have to take some notes at my grandmother’s wake (all five cousins are coming for sure, juicy, it’s gonna be juicy). Brent freaked me out and told me it was going to be hailing golf ball sized hail and gusting at 70 miles per hour, so I hurried home. Of course no such thing happened and I had one of the best drives from Salem ever. It’s just me here tonight and I haven’t had a night to myself in a long time, so ciao!

     I know heaven isn’t really up in the clouds, but I’d like to believe my grandmother’s soul is floating somewhere, interacting with other cool people and being happy. She passed away in her sleep last night, and was just barely 76. I’m so sad. My grandfather passed away almost four years ago, and after that my grandmother just degraded really fast. She had a kind of dementia and it was sort of like Alzheimer’s, only we don’t know if she didn’t know who we were or just couldn’t tell us because she stopped talking. I feel horrible for this but my grandmother’s birthday party was Tuesday and I didn’t go. I just forgot. My dad told me about it on Sunday at Brent’s graduation but I still didn’t remember. And now she’s dead and I can’t ever see her again. And that makes me more sad. But my mom made me feel a little better by telling me that if God really had wanted that to be my last memory of grandmother I would have remembered. So I was thinking of her all day and here are some cool things about her:

*This is me and my cousin Dustin at my grandparent’s Cali casa. Whenever we were down there grandmother always made sure there were lots of oranges so we could make fresh squeezed juice every morning.
*My grandmother had the same pink nail polish ever since I can remember. My girlfriend and I were down at the desert for spring break and went to paint our nails. We wanted to take it off and went into grandmother’s bathroom but all we saw were three bottles of pink polish and no remover. When I asked my grandmother for some she asked why she would need it. 🙂
*My grandmother and grandfather were quite the socialites. I love this article from our local paper:

*I was the first one to actually graduate from Oregon State, I’m sure that made my grandfather and grandmother proud. I know they were excited when I got in.
*I read my grandmother’s high school yearbook back when there was only one high school in Salem (now there are six). My grandfather signed a bunch but my favorite thing he said was, “I hope and I am sure you will be around to share my millions.”
*Grandmother took me and a girlfriend to Palm Springs to walk down El Paseo street at night and look at all the shops. Even though they were way too big she let us borrow fur coats to wear so we looked fancy.
*Grandmother made little hotcakes for breakfast that were quite famous in our family. I believe my cousin Ryan holds the record for the most eaten in one morning at 47 or something ridiculous. I always ate them with butter and sugar. {Note: Brent thinks this number is lower, who remembers?}
*Grandmother tried the Atkin’s diet before it was popular. My friend Brooke and I were visiting and she made an avocado salad that consisted of half an avocado, mayonnaise, and bacon. It was so gross.
*Grandmother though her gravy was the best at Thanksgiving because we all slathered it on our turkey and it almost always ran out. But the truth was every year she got up earlier and earlier to start the turkey and it was SO DRY!!
*My grandmother made each of her five grandchildren a scrapbook with really funny captions and I think it is one of the things that made me want to scrapbook!
*I don’t know why but you couldn’t call grandmother and grandfather grandma and grandpa, only my older cousin Dustin occasionally got away with calling her grams.
*Grandmother and grandfather loved stuff from Mexico and had tons of artwork from there in their living room. They did not “get” my abstract stuff, but appreciated me for being creative.

I’m so thankful for my grandparents and what time I did get to spend with them. I really miss our whole family getting together. After my grandfather’s death we never did another holiday together. And now all the grandchildren are out of school and all over. I am looking forwards to seeing my cousins at the funeral on Tuesday because I miss them a lot. My grandparents were really good to us grandchildren. Because of the trust fund they set up for me I was able to start the Ribbon Jar and I know they would be really proud of me because they were entrepreneurs and always getting into a new venture.

And if I die before I wake, I pray the lord my soul to take.