Seriously, this can’t be happening to me. I’ve regressed. I mean I might as well give back my college degree because everyone treats me like an a frigin five year old. Okay yes that is an exaggeration, but this whole age thing has gotten out of control. Let me set up a little picture for you.
A nice business woman who has some free time in her schedule and wants to make a little difference in the community decides to volunteer at the hospital (that would be me, the nice WOMAN). So she goes to the orientation meeting. She is so excited! She has been waiting weeks to go and can’t wait to learn about the volunteer opportunities. She sits down with the rest of a big group and listens to the spiel. Then the coordinator lady breaks everyone into two groups, "Students come to the front and adult volunteers back here please." So the 25 year old business woman (who took the time to not only put on make up -including mascara, but also nice clothes and earrings) heads to the back. Where the bitchy lady informs her, "Excuse me but you need to go up to the front." "Why?" Says the business woman. "Because we want all teenagers up front." "I am twenty five." says the business woman. "Oh. Well are you a student?" "No," Says the business woman, "I graduated years ago and now own my own company." "Oh," Says the snotty lady, "Fine you can come back here."
Dude was I pissed off, like so pissed off. Then it just got worse. All of the adults were supposed to say why they were there and how they would like to help. I was in the middle of saying that I own the Ribbon Jar, and work and home and wanted to be out in the community more when the coordinator interrupted me in front of everyone and said, "Am I the only one who thought she was 17?" followed by disgusting laughter.
I am telling you here and now. The next person who does this to me is getting a fist in the face. Now, granted I do not, and have never had great upper body strength, but I’m willing to give it my all.
And since we are on the subject of dillholes treating me like a moron (seriously people speak slowly to me, why do they do that?) I’d like to bring up something else that happened this weekend. I didn’t think it had anything to do with the guy thinking I was young, but now I kinda do.
We were at Lumpy’s, a golf discount store. I was there with Bj, Brent, and my Dad. I was watching Dad try out some clubs in the back and Bj brings me these kick ass golf shoes to look at (I don’t have any). I say, "Oh those look nice, I’ll go check them out." So I head over to the shoe department wearing greenish khaki shorts, a tank top and flip flops and holding the sample shoe. I walk over to the Echo area and start to check them out. A salesman intercepts me.
"Hi, I’m looking for this shoe."
"We don’t have your size."
I stand there like, what? I didn’t even tell you what size I am! "I wear a seven and a half or eight."
Salesman: "Sorry we don’t have any."
Me: "I don’t carry about color or even style really."
Salesman, "Here’s a 36," He says chucking a box at me, "but it probably won’t fit." Then he takes the sample shoe out of my hands and walks away.
People a 36 is like, I don’t know, a size 6US, not even close to my size. After he clears out of the shoe area I see the following sizes stacked up: 36, 37, 38, 39. WHAT THE HELL PEOPLE!!! Someone would tell me if I looked like an alien or smelled wouldn’t they? I do not know what is going on in the world. I am a nice friendly customer!
Help. I’m fielding suggestions, I want to look older but it can not involve surgery or high heals. Oh and also I have very little funds to work with.