Normal is not a word I know.

I know, I know. "Amber are you okay?"  "Where are you?"  "I’ve been checking your blog, and I’m concerned."

I’m concerned about me too. Nothing seems to be going right. And that’s hard for an optimist like me to take. I want to be happy and giggly and think about silly things all day long. I want to be crafty and crazy and stay up late exercising my artistic muscles. But I haven’t done any of that. I haven’t done anything blog worthy really. I’ve been working, adding lots of new products (cool ones you can see right here). But that’s about all. And I have been staying up late and having fitful sleepless nights, but not over anything interesting. Just over everything. Everything I have to do. I feel a little better now that I’ve gotten myself to Franklin and updated my planner. I have lists all over the house but I still have a back log of them in my brain. I know nothing will ever be exactly the same, but I keep trying to get there, at least to that place where I feel that I can breath without thinking I should be doing something else.

Okay that’s as far as I got before I had a big fun dinner with Bj, Brent, Luke, and Sciarrino. It was so much fun; chatting, cooking, and laughing like crazy. Bj and Luke went to go check on grandpa and then grab dessert. Just after they left I picked up the phone and it was Bj telling me grandpa had another fall. I went to the store and got him a heating pad, but it wasn’t enough. He couldn’t move his arm at all and we were afraid the shoulder was broken so we had to call 911 because we knew we wouldn’t be able to get him into the car. We got to the emergency room and were shocked to see just how full it was. 60 people waiting in the lobby, and every room full in the back. Luckily grandpa just sort of did something to his rotator cuff and they were able to move it back into place and gave him some pain medication. Then we were rushed out of our room as multiple codes poured into the hospital. Lots of elderly patients, lots of babies and tiny children, and the man who was brought into our room right after us was getting full on CPR. So strange how it just takes one flash like that to make you see the light again. We’ve tucked grandpa in now and we’re back home. It’s almost one a.m. so this post probably doesn’t make much sense. I promise to update more, I’ve felt very disconnected with out my dear blog (and readers!).

5 Replies to “Normal is not a word I know.”

  1. Yes, that all made sense (no worries). I’m glad you at least wrote something on your blog…I too was one of your devoted readers who was like, “still no posting?” But it’s all good. Just think, sometimes what you might not think is interesting, might be to one of your readers 🙂 Call me if you ever need to vent! Love you!

  2. Breathe… Life will get easier. You and BJ have been handed a lot in your early marriage and just getting used to each other is enough. But you have each other and you are handling all of this with such grace. I am so proud of you and BJ for the responsibility you have taken on. You are both to be admired. I know you want to do everything on your own, but don’t be afraid to ask for help… that’s what we’re here for. Family is the best, you have shown Grandpa just how much you care by being there for him. PS Love your 2007 Dailies… with all the hard work BJ’s been doing it won’t be long before your yard looks like that! Love always!

  3. so glad you checked in.
    been worried too.
    your mom is the sweetest. serioulsy.
    take her advice. don’t be afriad to ask for help.
    that’s what family is for. you’d help them in they were feeling overwelmed, right? right. 🙂
    xo.

  4. Estate sales, GTI, DQ, “girl chats,” Spoons, laughter, Saturday was a good day! 🙂

  5. lekkerkerker says: Reply

    I’m glad that you posted…I was getting a bit worried but I didn’t want to bug you since you have had a lot of huge stuff going on. Listen to your momma- she is a smart cookie. You and BJ are so wonderful together. Everything will get there.

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