I know, I know. "Amber are you okay?"  "Where are you?"  "I’ve been checking your blog, and I’m concerned."

I’m concerned about me too. Nothing seems to be going right. And that’s hard for an optimist like me to take. I want to be happy and giggly and think about silly things all day long. I want to be crafty and crazy and stay up late exercising my artistic muscles. But I haven’t done any of that. I haven’t done anything blog worthy really. I’ve been working, adding lots of new products (cool ones you can see right here). But that’s about all. And I have been staying up late and having fitful sleepless nights, but not over anything interesting. Just over everything. Everything I have to do. I feel a little better now that I’ve gotten myself to Franklin and updated my planner. I have lists all over the house but I still have a back log of them in my brain. I know nothing will ever be exactly the same, but I keep trying to get there, at least to that place where I feel that I can breath without thinking I should be doing something else.

Okay that’s as far as I got before I had a big fun dinner with Bj, Brent, Luke, and Sciarrino. It was so much fun; chatting, cooking, and laughing like crazy. Bj and Luke went to go check on grandpa and then grab dessert. Just after they left I picked up the phone and it was Bj telling me grandpa had another fall. I went to the store and got him a heating pad, but it wasn’t enough. He couldn’t move his arm at all and we were afraid the shoulder was broken so we had to call 911 because we knew we wouldn’t be able to get him into the car. We got to the emergency room and were shocked to see just how full it was. 60 people waiting in the lobby, and every room full in the back. Luckily grandpa just sort of did something to his rotator cuff and they were able to move it back into place and gave him some pain medication. Then we were rushed out of our room as multiple codes poured into the hospital. Lots of elderly patients, lots of babies and tiny children, and the man who was brought into our room right after us was getting full on CPR. So strange how it just takes one flash like that to make you see the light again. We’ve tucked grandpa in now and we’re back home. It’s almost one a.m. so this post probably doesn’t make much sense. I promise to update more, I’ve felt very disconnected with out my dear blog (and readers!).