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  • I know, I know. "Amber are you okay?"  "Where are you?"  "I’ve been checking your blog, and I’m concerned."

    I’m concerned about me too. Nothing seems to be going right. And that’s hard for an optimist like me to take. I want to be happy and giggly and think about silly things all day long. I want to be crafty and crazy and stay up late exercising my artistic muscles. But I haven’t done any of that. I haven’t done anything blog worthy really. I’ve been working, adding lots of new products (cool ones you can see right here). But that’s about all. And I have been staying up late and having fitful sleepless nights, but not over anything interesting. Just over everything. Everything I have to do. I feel a little better now that I’ve gotten myself to Franklin and updated my planner. I have lists all over the house but I still have a back log of them in my brain. I know nothing will ever be exactly the same, but I keep trying to get there, at least to that place where I feel that I can breath without thinking I should be doing something else.

    Okay that’s as far as I got before I had a big fun dinner with Bj, Brent, Luke, and Sciarrino. It was so much fun; chatting, cooking, and laughing like crazy. Bj and Luke went to go check on grandpa and then grab dessert. Just after they left I picked up the phone and it was Bj telling me grandpa had another fall. I went to the store and got him a heating pad, but it wasn’t enough. He couldn’t move his arm at all and we were afraid the shoulder was broken so we had to call 911 because we knew we wouldn’t be able to get him into the car. We got to the emergency room and were shocked to see just how full it was. 60 people waiting in the lobby, and every room full in the back. Luckily grandpa just sort of did something to his rotator cuff and they were able to move it back into place and gave him some pain medication. Then we were rushed out of our room as multiple codes poured into the hospital. Lots of elderly patients, lots of babies and tiny children, and the man who was brought into our room right after us was getting full on CPR. So strange how it just takes one flash like that to make you see the light again. We’ve tucked grandpa in now and we’re back home. It’s almost one a.m. so this post probably doesn’t make much sense. I promise to update more, I’ve felt very disconnected with out my dear blog (and readers!).

    5 comments on Normal is not a word I know.
  • Today was so long and not that exciting and I wasn’t feeling all that blessed about being the one who gets to take grandpa to his doctor’s appointments and make sure paperwork gets notarized and blah, blah, blah. I stayed up late, with out a real purpose mostly because Bj was back at work this week and I tend to loose time a bit when he’s gone. Staying up until four and getting up three times before my alarm was set to go off to answer the phone made me a bit of grouch. I made up for it by wearing a cute skirt, but still I’m sure I’m going to have to name the bags under my eyes soon.

    Then I had to rush to the retirement place (and I did remind myself then how lucky/smart/insightful we were to find a place five minuets away) to gently wake up grandpa and have him sign papers. Then I ran back home did a few things left again to pick up paperwork and then grandpa. High point? He likes my car, low point? He hated just about everything else today. He hated all the trees ("they are monotonous"), he hated having to go out, he hated that we moved him so fast that he didn’t get his black glasses (turns out these are sunglasses), small handkerchiefs, and non-heavy shoes. He hates the new undershirts, new under ware, new doctor. He said we have traffic "like Southern California" when I pulled up to a red light (are you freaking kidding me here?), he hates that Oregonians don’t pump their own gas….

    The doctor I found for him was really great and took 45 minuets talking to him after NO wait in the waiting room ("he’s not a doctor, he’s just a kid, what does he know."). He got all the tests ordered we wanted, he picked up on an perscription mistake by the previous doctor, but still grandpa was not happy. I was feeling tired and sorry and a million things when he told the
    doctor that his son had died 18 days ago and he moved up here 9 days
    ago. I feel like my life has gone in fast forward and slow motion at
    the same time. The x-ray machine was horrible, it’s not meant for people who have shrunk and bent from 6’2" to 5’9". And the room was cold and he was so cranky when he was done. I felt a little better when we picked up Burger King and talked for a bit in his room. He told me a few stories and then flipped out over his cable bill. I must not have let on too much that I was so tired and agitated because when I was going to leave he told me to be careful. "Careful?" I asked. "Yes, be careful driving home, I don’t want anything to happen to you, you’re darling." Oh just go and melt my heart grandpa!

    Three hours later the phone rings.

    Me, all high pitched and squeaky, "Hello."
    "Amber this is Grandpa."
    Concerned, "Grandpa, is everything alright?"
    "Listen when Bj gets home he needs to go get me some size 34 shorts, I can’t move in these size 30s. I didn’t wear this size when I was in grade school. I don’t know what the hell Kathy was thinking."
    (um maybe that you weigh 124 pounds and are super skinny)
    "He gets back tomorrow grandpa, I’ll tell him."
    "Okay goodnight."

    Okay those under ware must be pretty tight for him to break down and want some new ones considering a.that he hates to spend money and b.I thought he was allergic to new clothing. But funnier than that? The fact that he wants to make sure Bj is the one who goes and picks up the new tighty whities. LOL

    p.s. yes grandpa has his own category, I couldn’t resist.

    7 comments on But then he had to go and be all funny like that.
  • Burger_cake

    Friday was Bj’s 25th birthday, happy quarter century babe! Friday my mom and Bill cooked up a great meal for Bj. Brent and Grandpa joined us over there. Grandpa can’t get over 1. How small everyone in my family is and 2. How much less expensive things are in Oregon than Southern Cal. Oh and he amuses me by pointing out things like, "Shy does everyone walk here so damn much? It’s crazy." LOL that coupled with everyones in jeans, fleece or workout clothes really throws him for a loop. I love having dinner at my mom’s it always illicets great conversation. Mom your idea to get a big round table = genius. Grandpa sat there for two hours telling us stories, we got him laughing so hard he literally spit his teeth out! And then says to me, "Hey you should have gotten a picture of that!" (think he’s getting to know me much?). Speaking of pictures;
    Cheesy_smile

    I said, "hey grandpa come on show us some teeth, and I got this, hilarious.
    Strikemaster

    Saturday was his birthday party. When people were asking us what they could do for us I said, "Come to Bj’s birthday party!" I knew having all his friends around would make his day, and it did. We did a classic party, first up bowling. Bowling is very difficult when you lack upper arm muscles and have a slight astigmatism (well that’s what I’m trying to blame it on). I did have a strike though. And Kristen surprised us all by posting for the first three frames a 3,0,1 and went on to get three strikes in a row. After bowling it was on to Mexican food (which on Cinco de Mayo was a bit of a wait, but worth it) and then back to our house.
    Cake

    Awe to think he was once so small. I am so happy Bj could have a day of pure fun and happiness. I love all our friends and I look forward to many more years of birthdays with my big goof ball.

    6 comments on Birthday Boys, Bowling, and Buffalos

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