Life in Color Photo

Did you see what my brother posted? He finally commented and this is truely a gem:
“You need to go to this webpage.“
Must check it if you want a good laugh.
alp

Okay I think some of today’s collections are some of the cutest ever! See that little squaty guy over on the right, I think he’s my favorite with his cool glass insert top and tiny stature. I want to say thanks for all the support about the ribbon jar. I’m still so small that I really do celebrate every order and pack it up with love. I love reading comments on the orders like, “I loved shopping your site it’s so cute,” “You have the best ribbon I’ve ever seen,” or “Oops, mis-calculated, send me more ribbon!” It’s still so much fun for me, no matter how overwhelmed I feel sometimes. To top it all off lately people have been linking me in there blogs, this is so awesome!! I still would really love to see one of my jars in someones space so if you’ve bought one show me a picture! I miss my babies that go to new homes. I wanted to make sure that all my readers knew I’m having a big sale over at my shop, so check it!

I don’t think people have the same love for herringbone, double faced satins, and cords as me so I’ve put them all up on sale for a week so you can try them out cheap! Make sure you browse all EIGHT pages of the sale! Thank you my faithful blogging buddies, scraping friends, relatives, and crew girlies, I love you all!

So the party went pretty well. I got these amazing nylons that you MUST try. They are the best for avoiding VPL (visible panty lines). They’re called Spanx, and they totally rock. They almost rock too much. I got some at the last minuet because they are foot less, and really control toppy. The thing is they shrunk me like too sizes, so much so that I could literally pull my pants off with out unzipping them. Good thing I had a really long and tight top that help the pants stay up, because a belt wasn’t an option. The top was this one I have from high school, by Tadashi. It goes with this really fancy satin skirt, which I knew would be too much for this party so I paired it with the pants instead. I had some ho hum black high heels and a little leather purse that has seen better days, but the thing is, it was really dimly lit in there, YES! I also had a wrap. My mom had bought one from Nordstrom once then we went to the fabric store and managed to make a really awesome copy. It’s held up pretty well so I wore that.

The event was in the Portland Art Museum, the newly remodeled section. A super cool ballroom. Thank goodness it was carpeted, it made it so much easier on my feet. Bj’s company’s color is orange, so there was orange everywhere, but in a really cool way. We had cocktails (well I had mocktails since I don’t drink, and there were no limit to virgin drinks, whoo hoo) and dinner, buffet style. Bj won a gift certificate to Powell’s so we went there yesterday. I got an awesome book on Christo and Jean Claude, on the Gates project. They had gambling with fake money, but I don’t gamble. I don’t really like how so many parties are just about drinking and gambling, but it was fun to meet some of Bj’s co-workers. All and all not such a bad night. Oh, the funniest thing was they had all these cakes with periodic table elements and their respective numbers on them. Some of the “geeker” tech guys were checking the numbers with the element letters and making sure they were right. They were quizzing each other on them, hilarious. The cake sucked though.

Sorry about all  the zit talk before, I really was  serious that it was my worst ever. But I hope I didn’t loose any readers over it, my grandma, at least was a little taken aback. 🙂

Ya, I defiantly do not feel like a million bucks, that’s for sure. I have a really yucky cold which is just fantastic, a zit the size of the Titanic and to top it all off I get to go to Bj’s big company party tomorrow and meet everyone for the first time, yay! No seriously though, if you saw this zit, you would pity me. This is maybe to graphic, but I popped it and there was (no joke) an inch long hair inside all curled up… ON MY FACE! So now I have a gaping hole on the side of my face that is currently covered with a band aid, think it will heal by tomorrow? Or the redness from my nose will go away? Or I’ll stop sneezing every 10 seconds? Ya, neither do I. Crap.

Mom Jeans.

So SNL has a bunch of skits and parodies up on iTunes now and I just had to get this on called Mom Jeans. These are so funny. I got the screen captures while I was playing the video over and over.
It’s all sing songy:

She’ll love the nine inch zipper and casual front pleats. Cut generously to fit a mom’s body.

And with your choice of ankle length, capri length or shorts you’ll find the perfect jean for even the least active moms.

Give her something that says, “I’m not a woman anymore, I’m a mom!”

Mom jeans, mom jeans, when you’ve given up, put your mom jeans on.

LOL
The funny sad part is the pants I was wearing today came up past my belly button and they have a nine inch (!!!) zipper. I know that is so NOT okay, but they were super on sale when I got them, and I swore I would only wear them with really long tops (the one I was wearing today came down past my butt), but after seeing this I want to burn them. The shame! God, at least they are not jeans.

Okay back to the real world, today was busy again. Yesterday I worked from 10 am to 11 pm on Ribbon Jar. Today I was hoping I could be done with vital stuff by noon so I could go into the city and shop with Beachwood. I really need to see her, remember that project I was working on forever that I didn’t get to show you yet? Well it’s all wrapped up, but I didn’t finish in time, so I couldn’t get together with her, I’m bummed. And now I’m really in trouble because Bj has this company party Saturday night and I have nothing to wear. But at least my hair will be presentable. I got an AWESOME cut and color from my cousin Jenny, the prego one. I love my hair so much it makes me feel like a big dork butt for not getting it done sooner. I don’t know what I was thinking, well I sorta do. I was all, oh what if I get married soon, I don’t want to cut it. Today I was just like screw it I’m not going to have long hair for years just because it might happen, that’s stupid. I feel so liberated now. What do you think?


Jenny used a flat iron, I’ve never tried one myself, but I really like how it looks. I’ll have to wait on that since I have to buy a new blow drier, ugh. I told you that I threw away my perfectly good blow dryer right? I can’t remember, just in case: I went to use my blow dryer and it totally wasn’t working so I figured it was done for and put it in with all my other, um, “bathroom garbage” and chucked it. A few days later I borrowed my moms and plugged it in and it didn’t work. Then I look at the light on my electric toothbrush and it’s gone out, and that’s when I realize it’s the outlet not the dryer. So I go out to the big garbage and fish out my blow dryer. Well the drop into the bin busted it up for real, so now I do have to get a new one. I’m such a moron sometimes.

Jenny used a flat iron, I’ve never tried one myself, but I really like how it looks. I’ll have to wait on that since I have to buy a new blow drier, ugh. I told you that I threw away my perfectly good blow dryer right? I can’t remember, just in case: I went to use my blow dryer and it totally wasn’t working so I figured it was done for and put it in with all my other, um, “bathroom garbage” and chucked it. A few days later I borrowed my moms and plugged it in and it didn’t work. Then I look at the light on my electric toothbrush and it’s gone out, and that’s when I realize it’s the outlet not the dryer. So I go out to the big garbage and fish out my blow dryer. Well the drop into the bin busted it up for real, so now I do have to get a new one. I’m such a moron sometimes. 

So after my wonderful haircut experience I heading into Portland to have dinner with a dear friend of mine from high school, Matt. We ate at one of my favorite places, Marrakesh. I love Moroccan food, I love eating on the floor, I love it all. Tonight there was a belly dancer and we were talking about this and that, and I’m thinking to myself, “that dancer getting awfully close to Matt.” Then all the sudden she starts wrapping her scarf thing around him, but it’s hard because of his glasses. We were busting up so bad, then I realized I had my camera with me to get a picture of him for my my Peeps album. I go, “sorry Matt, but I have to get a picture of this.” Everyone was clapping and the music was loud, it was great. The dancer jumped right in the picture, check it out under my picture of the day album. I drove home after dinner because I’m feeling the effects of little cold I picked up somewhere.

Ok, I don’t have a picture of this, but I will do my best to describe. But first, a little background. It has been raining here a crap-load, no, I know, “But Amber, you live in Oregon, doesn’t it rain there all the time anyway.” Why yes it does, but this is an insane amount. Usually it’s just drizzly and overcast most of the time, this is full on soak you to the bone wet rain. So last night I am watching the news. They have this overlay the weatherman puts over a little map of the valley. In the corner there is a chart, it’s like this: green = 1″, light green 1.5″ then it goes from yellow through orange to red. Now I forget the exact values for all of this, but here is what struck me: I’m looking at Salem and it’s frigin fuchsia, that’s right fuchsia. I’m like, “What, hey, do you guys see this, fuchsia isn’t even on that scale, on the chart, look, what the heck does fuchsia mean?” I’ve decided it basically means our city is going to drown. Or at least our golf course: Creekside Lakeside. Yup, it’s flooding real good.
      That was the background on the weather, now the background on the post office. See Sunday there was a rate change, you knew that right? 2 cents higher. I did not believe the friendly postal workers when they told me last week that this week would be busy. I thought, “how busy could it be?” CRAZYVILLE BUSY people, crazyville. Take this from some one who goes to the post office AT LEAST once a day, this is the busiest it’s ever been. Christmas? Oh no, that wasn’t bad, this SUCKS. I’d also like to make a suggestion. If you are going to require a new product to be purchased, then you should have the new product. It now takes 24 cents for each additional ounce, or for a postcard. Do they make 24 cent stamps yet, no. THEY DON’T MAKE 24 CENT STAMPS, BUT THEY REQUIRE THEM, AHHHHHH. So you could scream or you could laugh, and I went to the post office with a great attitude today, and boy did it pay off.
      So I park, it’s pouring, I’ve got my yellow rain jacket from gap kids on, whatever it takes right? I go into the post office get one of there carts and load all my packages into. I’m struggling with the cart (you know, since they don’t make them with handles or anything) and I see this girl my age come hustling up behind me, yes! Someone to open the door. But no, she goes “in through the out door, out door.” (hehehe, couldn’t help myself, you know I love the Prince). So I’m like struggling with the door and this huge metal cart. As soon as she passes me I get the first glimpse. Her butt, I’m talking about her butt. She is dressed in VERY unflattering joggins with about three inches of sweatpant material shoved up her crack. Yup, wedgie city. But that’s not all, her ass has “baby girl” written in cursive. She’s got a handful of manila envelopes, none addressed or closed. Gosh I love these people who cut in line and don’t have anything filled out, but I guess God put her there so I could have some amusement while waiting in line. And I did. She proceeded to drop, among other things, a bunch of tampons out of her little purse. Not little O.b.s that could be mistaken for lip gloss at a glance from a boy, but big huge applicator tampons. I’m not horrible, I would have helped her, but we were in a tight space and I had the cart between us, so I couldn’t. When she got up she had a way worse wedgie than before and I got to see her sweatshirt: “Pimp University; 420; High Life” nice. Baby girl proceeded to a postal clerk and I went to the next one. Of course I got out of there first because I had everything filled out and ready to go. Moral of the story? 1)You should not be so high that you can’t feel a wad of material up your butt and 2)It’s nicer to let me go first, since I was there first, and then I won’t make fun of you on my blog and 3)I can’t stress this enough: FILL OUT YOUR PAPER WORK BEFORE YOU GET TO THE FRONT OF THE LINE!!!

I don’t think this would have been a very good paper because I don’t think I really got the point across that all this water is making people do/wear crazy things.

Cracking myself up while helping my mom by modeling some stuff for eBay. Since I doubt this shot will make it under item description, enjoy:

Mom what was that word you called me? I can’t remember, but it meant like full of myself, right. So I was like, “well, this is for my blog, which is about me…” Okay so maybe I am. Hehehe. I finished these gloves last night waiting for Bj:

They’re for my little brother Taylor, who doesn’t get excited about anything, he’s such a cool, laid back easy going 15 year old. But I think he really does like them, he wore them around all night. And I made him give me a hug, I mean this was a time consuming handmade gift!

I’m going through a bunch of magazines tonight and organizing all my binders of inspiration. Watching X-Files while I do it. It’s so strange how I can’t seem to watch anything else scary, but I can freak myself out watching these alone. It’s only because I know Mulder and Scully will always come through!