If there is one thing I’ve learned in my short marriage, it’s that sticking together and just being there for each other is the most important thing. No matter what, when things go bad, go so wrong you just can’t believe it, you have to stick together. That’s what Bj and I have been doing this last week. Before I tell you what a roller coaster it has been I want to say thank you so much for all your comments. We’ve read them all and it just means so much to us, they give us such strength, THANK YOU!
So right after I wrote that last post we packed up and headed to California where his father and grandpa lived. Bj has an awesome step dad, Jim, that you may have seen in wedding pictures, but Bill was his actual father. He wasn’t able to come to the wedding. We didn’t know at the time that he was very sick. He told us that he had to go to the hospital for some tests on March 26th, and because we weren’t down there we didn’t know that wasn’t actually the case. Bj and his father loved each other so much, but it was sometimes hard for Bj to get a clear channel of communication to his father. What we are piecing together now is that his father had been sick for a few months. We’re not sure exactly why he died, but we are sure that it ended a lot of pain (here is his obituary). Bj’s father was cremated and on Friday we drove him in his Corvette down to San Diego Bay to scatter his ashes in the ocean.
I looked down and it was just okay. It still sucked, it still hurt, but I knew it was going to be okay.
In addition to everything we had to deal with in terms of his father’s death, we also had a feisty 87 year old on our hands. Bj’s grandpa:
After a very long day our 87 year old child is tucked into bed. We are moving his stuff to a bigger room tomorrow. It’s going to be crazy, different, and hard sometimes I’m sure. But I am so thankful Bj gets to have this opportunity to bond with his grandpa, who adores him. He likes me too, tells me how small I am all the time, and that I’m a “character.” He said he was glad Bj married me, and I said I was too.
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Or worse.
Yesterday Bj and I got the biggest shock of our lives. His mom called me looking for him to tell him that his father passed away. He was only 55 years old. He lived in California and took care of Bj’s grandfather, who found him yesterday. We’re not sure exactly what happened, we just keep saying, "it’s so weird." And then we start crying again. And I’ve only seen Bj cry twice before so it’s just so sad. Yesterday I was in the middle of painting the stairwell and I was going to do this whole, "blah blah blah high places suck to paint, blah, blah, blah" post, and Bj was eating a BLT. Yesterday he kept saying, "I was just out to lunch, I just had a BLT, and now everything is different." We’re going to head down there right away, Bj’s mom and step dad will accompany us. Talk to his grandpa, and get him to move up here so we can take care of him. There is no one else, no brothers, no sisters, no anyone, it’s us. We have to grow up right now. We have to scatter the ashes, and sell the house, and all the stuff, and close accounts, and care for the grandpa. I’m in shock, I’m scared, and I kinda wish I wasn’t old enough to be the one in charge.
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So do you remember that whole thing about how our original choice church double booked us? Well the church we ended up at was First Presbyterian downtown. This ended up working out beautifully as it was only blocks from our reception space and the pastor was wonderful. We did such minimal decoration because the whole place looks like it’s carved from one block of wood. We only had two trees up front:
and of course the twirly sticks!
On the Sunday after the wedding these wouldn’t fit in anyones car and it made me just about sick to have to throw them out. I did keep a few, but I hope someone at the hotel saved them or something. Anyway, so we got to the hotel about a little over an hour before the wedding. The church wedding consultant had wanted us to get their even before that, but I was all, "Um, I get bored really easily." Ya, there was no way I was sitting around longer than that. We did have a few things to do, like get dressed. The boys were in the little room right behind the alter:
Where they hung out and got dressed. If you walk straight back down the aisle you come do this cool double staircase:
Great use of a fish eye lens Eric! the stairs that go up go to the balcony, and the stairs that go down go to the nursery where the bride’s room is.
It was so fun having everyone down there. And of course Violet was the little star. Check out how cute in the dress I knit her:
Awe. I just love the little munchkin. So during this time Sciarrino who hadn’t been feeling all that great all day started to get pretty sick. So I don’t have too many pictures of her because unfortunately she was us, "worshiping the porcelain god" you know. So if she’s not as smiley as usual that’s why!
The girls all helped me get into my dress and pretty much from that moment on I was beyond excited. I could not calm down.
And I totally loved look at myself in this dress, which by the way is a Justina McCaffrey Haute Couture from her classics collection called Alexia II. I found my dress at Ania Collection in Portland. I was a bit freaked out to go dress shopping because reading the reviews of the dress shops is like reading a list of the worst customer service ever. But like most things I deferred to Emee (our coordinator) for help and she sent me there. See, isn’t Emee the smartest ever? They were so sweet and nice every time we went in. They had the bridesmaid dresses ready to go early so I could take one to Ceara, they helped me find shoes, everything, and the best staff. I love them. Anyway then it was time to put on my veil and I’m like, whoa it’s time to put on my veil?!?!
My mom made the veil after Andrea at the Bridal Loft cut all the tulle for us. It was so perfect.
I love my mom.
This is a nice pictorial of full on Amber excitement. I get super hyper excited a lot, but this took the cake. I was getting so squirmy to see Bj, I just could not wait. In fact when I was at the bottom of the stairs ready to walk up I could here him talking and I squeaked, "Hi Bj!" So what calms me down after getting my dress on?
Baby hand holding 🙂
And a moment of prayer. Then it was time for the shoes.
I had all my girls write on the bottom and the one who wore off the most during dancing would have good luck. That was Ceara’s message, right on the point of the toe. So then the girls all went upstairs to line up and I was alone with my make up genius, Catherine. Seriously she rocked! And of course Eric. So I was all, "Eric can I use your camera?"
The thing was freaking sick, sick ill I tell you, sigh.
As always. And then I was ready to walk down the aisle!Oh and my shoes were by Mika Inatome. She came to Ania Collection for a trunk show and I got a pair of slingbacks that I could dye. I dyed these and a little handbag from Nordstroms this green color. I just took in a ribbon for them to match, seriously cool, huh?
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